Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs with Lisa Mitchell

"It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own heads..”

- Lisa Mitchell

Do you sometimes battle with limiting beliefs affecting your personal and professional life?   In today's episode, I share personal insights on breaking through the barriers of limiting beliefs and the relief that can bring.

In this episode of Talent Management Truths, you’ll discover:

• A recent, rather sweaty, epiphany that I experienced
• How a client had a breakthrough related to limiting stories in her own head
• The relief that comes from choosing to see more choices

Links

• https://www.greenappleconsulting.ca/
• Book a call with me to explore how I can support you as your Talent Management Thought Partner or Leadership Coach 
  • https://www.greenappleconsulting.ca/contact 

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Transcript

Well, hello there. Thanks so much for joining me. Today is a solo episode, a short one with just little old Mo Mo. Well, this morning I was sitting in the kitchen after the gym. I was very, very sweaty, frankly, and I wanted to take. Wait for it. My sweaty sports bra off so that I could cool down while I sipped my protein shake.

Stay with me here. I know I don't usually talk about undergarments on the show, but it will all make sense shortly, I hope. Anyways, I looked at the window furtively to see if anyone was watching now who would be watching you ask. Well, from where my kitchen backs onto the backyard, there are back windows from two houses behind us and we have a pie shaped backyard.

So they both sort of, these windows give on from the second floors onto our backyard. So, you know, I was sort of thinking, you never know if there's a peeping tor. Tammy lurking out there, but as I gazed out the window, my fears were allayed when I realized that tree leaves completely shielded me from all four of those upper windows, and that's when I had a wee epiphany.

Yeah, about two years ago, the back neighbor's tree was leaning against our mutual fence and was pushing the fence such that it was in danger of falling over. So I remember we had to pay an arborist to come and cut the branch off, and while he was up there on his ladder, he, he took that branch down and some other sort of dead stuff, and then he started trimming a large pine beside it.

And I almost cried when he was done, honestly, because where once I looked out on lush leaves, now there were just brick walls and red brick, which I'm not a fan of. But anyways, there was, you know, I could just see all these brick walls and those dreaded windows, and I remember thinking, well, shit, you know, now I have this wide open backyard space with no privacy versus what I had before this, which was my.

Cozy private garden that I loved so much. Now, listener, I know some of you're thinking, wait a second. Don't worry, Lisa. It, it'll all be okay. The leaves will grow back. And you know what? You're right. But for some reason it never occurred to me in that moment or in the two years that followed that new branches and leaves would grow.

I literally was looking at that thinking, oh, now this is something I have to endure, and that's my epiphany. You know, it's funny, I had seen this tree cutting and sudden loss of privacy and visual, calm to be a life sentence, you know, until this morning when I realized, Hey, wait a second, I have that privacy back again. 

You know, good privacy such that I could actually remove that sweaty sports bra without being seen, and I, I put my shirt back on, by the way. Anyways, the bareness of the backyard was just a moment in time. Or a phase, really a two year phase, but a phase no less. It was passing, it was not permanent. I have a history of this tendency to hold limiting beliefs, and I know many of you do as well.

You know, I, I tend to forget that nothing ever stays the same and, you know, it doesn't need to either. You know, limiting beliefs are really a, a bummer, and, and yet they're real. When I was younger, I struggled with decisions. I remember because I saw them as immutable, final, never to be undone. It was like I was married to my decisions and limited by them, and this tendency showed up when I was in my first career as a teacher, I was miserable, but how could I leave?

And then in my first marriage, I wasn't happy. Neither of us were, but how could I leave? It showed up a again and again. Even in my last corporate gig, I was unhappy for two years. How could I leave this salary, this stability, this credibility, this team, and I think most of you will relate to some degree here.

A couple of hours ago I was working with a coaching client who's miserable in her job with her company, but she says she can't quit because the pay is just too good. She's looked at other jobs. When I asked her what was the story she was telling herself, she paused for quite a long time. And then she, it's interesting.

She had an epiphany kind of like mine. She realized she'd been telling herself that there were no other options, you know, all these other com comparable jobs that she'd researched, paid less. And her epiphany though was that while she might have to take a haircut or a lower salary, that is initially upon leaving, she would have ultimately more upward mobility in a supportive, more progressive environment.

Now for her at this point, while she had a breakthrough in terms of realizing that there were more options and other ways to look at her situation, she may still be a ways, a ways from choosing to take any action. That's okay. She'll make a change if and when she needs to. The point is just knowing that she has more agency and more hope that than she first thought was a relief.

All this to say. I do have a point here. When we feel tired or shocked or upset or sad about something, it's really easy to feel like things will never change, yet they always do. Shift happens. Even if it's not us doing the shifting, it could be our environments or other people around us, but something's gotta give and it will.

So the key takeaway here is that when you're feeling less than great about something, lift your head up and choose. Look ahead. Choose to remember that this is but a moment in time. Consider that the path to your next phase may not be linear. You may need to sidestep first. Things will change. Mutate shift.

There is hope in that. Relief and choice. We get to choose how we surf the changes with angst or fear or with trust that it will all work out or with action to make shift happen on our own power. Ultimately, dear listeners, mom was right about that bad haircut. It'll grow back.